Epic Western Cape Road Trip

Leg 1: The Approach – Bloem & Beaufort West

To say this year has been tough is an understatement of note. I developed Long Covid after contracting the Corona Virus in June 2021 and let’s just say it affected more than my ability to write blog posts. Crippling and debilitating fatigue was the main symptom. So bad that I ended up having to quit all three of my jobs. All three of my ‘dream come true’ jobs. It was heart breaking and soul destroying. Despite a slew of happy pills, I thought seriously about taking my own life on more than one occasion. Without enough energy to enjoy watching a TV show or even reading a book, all I did was stare at the walls and resent people who had simply got Covid and gotten over it. Why me? What had I done to deserve this life sentence? I wasn’t living, I was merely existing.

This holiday, nicknamed the ‘Epic Western Cape Road Trip’, had been in the works for a year. Because when you want to stay in places like the Sunset Dome in Tulbagh and the Greenhouse in Swellendam you have to plan a year in advance. And when you’re feeling like you’d like your life to end, it’s good to have something to look forward to. But thinking of the trip exhausted me. Just the thought of packing had me resenting the very idea of going on holiday. But then a funny thing happened. On the Wednesday before we were due to leave, I had a break through during a therapy session that helped to heal a wound from the distant past. I have long believed in the deep connection between mind and body and have many theories that unhealed trauma is preventing my physical body from healing from various ailments. From the moment I left my psychologist’s office I felt lighter. I had energy. I packed with gusto. And for the first time in a long time, I got excited.

My newfound energy remained with me over the coming days. I was able to help Hubby with other packing responsibilities, including carrying heavy items to the car. Anyone who has spent any time with me over the last year will know what a big deal this is. Eventually the morning of departure arrived. As did loadshedding, which, coupled with a stubborn garage door on a pap battery turned our quick getaway into a slow stutter. But no worries, we were in no hurry, as my mum said, “As the end of any road trip is home, the journey is what matters.” We collected our obligatory road trip lunch on the way – various pies from De Bakery, Edenvale – filled up with petrol and hit the N3 south.

Bloemfontein is not glamorous as destinations go, so I tried to find somewhere quirky for us to stay to make the stop a bit more fun. And that brought us to the Rabbit Guesthouse, which doubles up as a theatre school. As guesthouses go, it was more of a hotel, or a hostel. It looked like a converted warehouse, but it had character. An efficient self-check-in system had us checked in to our well-appointed room very smoothly and we had soon unpacked our cold food stuffs into the tiniest bar fridge I have ever seen in my life. On a recommendation from Hubby’s brother, we hit NY Slice for some sustenance. Delicious New York style pizza, sold by the slice. We received two slices for free as they accidentally nuked one of our slices during the warming up process. When we returned to the guesthouse, other guests had checked in and we discovered that the walls were extremely thin and noise travels. Sigh.

We still managed a good night’s sleep and a simple self-check-out process, but I couldn’t help thinking that it was all a little impersonal. Which made me realise I had changed a lot. The old me would have been delighted that I didn’t have to interact with anyone, but this new version of myself felt somehow let down that I hadn’t interacted with anyone I had exchanged messages and money with. Oh well, this is what has become of the new world. After the mandatory (yet surprisingly yummy) road trip Wimpy breakfast, we were back on the road, headed for Beaufort West.

Beaufort West is one of those towns that doesn’t have to try very hard because it’s on the main route and people will stop over there anyway. And so, it doesn’t try very hard. Fortunately for us, Lisa, owner of Beautiful Betty B&B, tries extremely hard. Where the Rabbit had fallen short, she more than picked up the pieces. We had a self-check-in process similar to theirs, however, she came by personally shortly thereafter to make sure everything was ok. Her rooms are delightful with lots of attention to detail and personal touches. However, her bar fridges are just as tiny and the bed did give Hubby a sore back. For sustenance we visited the 4Sheep restaurant where we had been on our honeymoon. It’s a bit of a weird spot situated above the convenience store of a Caltex garage. Tasty enough food though, with excellent service. Breakfast the next morning at the B&B was delicious.

Lessons learned from this leg of the journey were that perhaps on the way to somewhere like Tulbagh, one stop is enough. i.e. Drive that bit further and only stop once. This would give you one extra day at your destination. The Free State is extremely flat, has a lot of windmills and as scenery goes is very monotonous. I am getting better at staying awake on road trips! Next stop, the Sunset Dome!

Leg 2 – The Sunset Dome, Tulbagh

From the moment I laid eyes on the Sunset Dome, perched upon a wooden deck overlooking a private dam lined with weavers’ nests, I felt a kinship; a homecoming of sorts. I know that sounds dramatic and over the top, but it’s honestly how I felt. I didn’t know it was possible to feel quite this content with life. Obviously, I acknowledge that it’s easier when you’re on holiday, in beautiful, tranquil surroundings offering complete escapism from everyday pressures, but even still, I never believed that I was capable of achieving a level of such bliss, even under those conditions.

The Sunset Dome on La Bruyere Farm in Tulbagh, Western Cape offers such peace and stillness, you can’t help but hope you can take it back with you beyond the holiday. I mean, come on, it’s a freaking tented dome on the edge of your own private lake. You have about 8 different places to choose from, from which to view the epic sunsets. The water pressure in the outdoor shower is amazing and the bar fridge is slightly bigger than previous accommodation – what’s not to love?! It has long been on my bucket list and it did not disappoint!

The drive in offered splendid scenery – particularly coming through Ceres – and it’s pretty much as advertised – a domed tent, one portion of which is translucent, overlooking the dam. It’s remarkably sturdy and keeps most of the great outdoors, outdoors. (We had an inquisitive field mouse, so kept the door closed most of the time.) There is an outdoor bathroom with flushing toilet, hot water shower and a bathtub on the deck, as well as a separate kitchen with most of what you would need on a self-catering holiday. Our only disappointment was that the braai is gas and they don’t allow fires for safety reasons – we do love a good fire. You can swim in the dam and there are walking trails, although we struggled to follow them, and got infested with ticks so didn’t pursue them any further.

No one told me that being in the Western Cape in mid-September meant we would get to experience all of the seasons in a week. The first night was freezing and I mean freezing. The temperature dropped to about 4 degrees – bitterly cold, especially for September. Thank goodness I had thought to bring my trusty hot water bottle. There were various heating options available but we braved it with just blankets. The dome was still quite warm in the early part of the evening, having been heated by the sun during the day. Not so at 2am when Hubby got up to use the bathroom and came back freezing! I predicted night 2 would see the use of some heating equipment.

Hubby has a theory that time moves more slowly when you’re in unfamiliar surroundings, and boy did his theory hold some weight on this leg of the journey. As we lazed the days away, moving from shady spot to shady spot, reading, chatting, eating (oh man did we eat!) time seemed to evolve at such a leisurely pace that the days stretched like weeks before us. We were there for four nights, but it felt like a month. Glorious!

And the sunsets, oh the sunsets! There are no words to adequately sum up their magnificence. We spent a good two hours watching the sun slowly dip over the horizon and another hour watching as it turned the sky wondrous shades of orange, pink and purple, eventually giving way to a dark, milky sky of twinkling stars. We saw satellites galore and even got to wish on a shooting star! Although what more you could possibly wish for, I don’t know.

It would be too cold in winter and too hot in summer. We were forced to stay in the dome one day due to strong chilly winds, but it was still wonderful! You have to book a year in advance. But if you plan it just right, it’s the holiday of a lifetime. Do it!

Leg 3 – Gecko Rock, The Karoo

We left the Sunset Dome with mixed emotions. Four nights had been the perfect length of stay (even though our last day and night were slightly marred by poor weather) but it still felt sad to be leaving. It held such fond memories and embodied emotions of such peace and grace, I wanted to bottle them up and take them with me. But we had places to be and all good things must come to an end. And so, we were en route to Franschhoek, the Franschhoek Motor Museum specifically, a detour on our way to our next overnight stop in the Karoo. As museums go, it is excellent, housing an exquisite collection of some very rare cars that you get to see really close up, in all their splendid detail. Hubby was in his element. After stocking up on Woolies Food supplies, we were on our way again.

Since our first trip to the Karoo when we visited the quirky town of Nieu Bethesda one New Year’s Eve, we have been mesmerised by it. The vast expanses, the rugged terrain and the magical night skies. We just had to include it on this trip. But unfortunately, our stay at Gecko Rock reads like a school report: So much potential, could do better.

We were looking for isolation and in this Gecko Rock did not disappoint. Our cottage was about 3km from reception and about 2km from the next closest cottage. But the road was awful. Full of jagged rocks and sharp stones that had me holding my breath, clenching my jaw and just waiting for a tyre to go. Still, I suppose you have to expect these things in such an isolated place. When we eventually arrived at the cottage it was breath taking. Literally. I felt breathless. Everywhere you looked there was just space. Mountains and fynbos and blue skies and just nothing else for miles. It was a bit intimidating. But spectacular. The very definition of awe.

Then there was the cottage itself. I know we had been spoiled by the Sunset Dome, but even taking that into account… it just seemed that when building the cottage, if there was a corner to be cut, they had cut it. If something needed four screws, two would do. For the finishings and furnishings they had chosen the cheapest of the cheap. And this was by no means budget accommodation – it is literally advertised (and priced) as luxury accommodation. There was so much potential to make these cottages something special without too much extra effort but the opportunity had really been missed.

And then there was the electricity anxiety – the cottage was entirely solar powered but we were strictly warned not to use too many things at once or it would trip the system, incurring a R250 call out fee to reset it. So, now Hubby and I both had electricity anxiety that we would trip the system. Not a fun state to be in when you’re meant to be relaxing.

We also had a visit from a little rodent creature who seemed to have made a home for himself in the solar battery box and refused to be chased out of the cottage, meaning we had to pack all of our foodstuffs in the car for safe keeping. Not the end of the world, but not ideal either.

But not to worry, we were in the Karoo, the magical Karoo, and nothing was going to get us down. We were going to have a fire and stay up all night admiring the glorious night sky… Except it was overcast and we couldn’t see a thing. And the wind was so strong and so cold it killed our braai before we had time to properly cook our meat and we ended up having to finish it off inside in a frying pan.

But believe it or not, this did not dampen our spirits. And nor did a second night of chasing Jupiter through the clouds with the telescope always at the ready but never getting its moment to shine. We put on extra layers, made smores, batted away moths and revelled in the peace and tranquillity of being the only two people within a 2km radius and having absolutely no cellphone service for the first time in a long time.

Was my trip to the Karoo what I expected it to be? No. Would I recommend Gecko Rock to fellow travellers? No. Did I have an awesome time despite the ups and downs? Yes! Next stop: Swellendam!

Leg 4 – The Greenhouse, Swellendam

If we had to suffer through the severe averageness of Gecko Rock in order to be worthy of the pure luxury and indulgence that was the Greenhouse in Swellendam, then it was worth every creaking floorboard and loose doorhandle! The Greenhouse was beyond my wildest expectations. Such refined attention to detail, there were little touches everywhere, and you could tell everything had been chosen specially and with purpose. From the scent of the hand soap to the aroma of the Greenhouse itself, it was all perfect! And they had a full-sized fridge!

Glorious twisting roads through ravines and mountain passes with fantastic views and truly beautiful scenery brought us to the small town of Swellendam in time for lunch at Grace + Merci, where the service was as slow as the sleepy town on a Sunday afternoon, but the food was absolutely delicious! A slow drive along a well-maintained dirt road took us to Fazenda Farm, where host Marilouise showed us to the Greenhouse – a tiny, self-contained cottage in the middle of a forest, constructed entirely out of glass panels. With its own private pool, Le Creuset crockery, and Mungo towels, it is luxury living at its finest.

Marilouise has done a spectacular job with the space, fitting everything you need for a self-catering stay into the small space without making it feel cramped or cluttered. There are also well defined ‘activity areas’ so you feel as though the space is bigger than it actually is. Add to that the outdoor space and you have everything you need for the perfect holiday. We even managed to follow one of the walking routes this time to the bottom of a stunning gorge.

But unfortunately, I can’t wax poetic about the entire experience… While the Sunday afternoon was blissfully peaceful, Fazenda is a working farm and roaring engines from construction vehicles blasted through the air from early morning until late afternoon for the other four days of our stay, painfully ruining the atmosphere. I strongly feel that this is something we should have been warned about as I would not have chosen to stay there during the week had I known about this. We were also visited by a troop of a baboons who made a mess of our outdoor seating area on two of the afternoons. One of the necessary downsides of being in a forest.

However, we were allowed fires and fires we did have! Which adds to the overall enjoyment of any holiday for us. It was still pretty chilly at night, so it was an added luxury to have an electric blanket on the bed and plenty of extra blankets. Marilouise even provided a hot water bottle which would have come in handy had I not brought my own.

It was a fabulous way to round off a fabulous road trip – in style!

While at the Greenhouse we did a day trip to nearby Barrydale to visit Diesel and Crème – a diner we had stopped at on our honeymoon road trip. They did the best milkshakes we had ever tasted and pleased to see they were still in business, we just had to pay them a visit. The milkshakes did not disappoint, but unfortunately the food did. However, it was still worth the drive to have a red velvet milkshake that tastes like a slice of cake has been liquidised with a scoop of ice-cream!

Time to head home.

Homeward Bound – Beach, Beaufort & Bloem

Is a road trip even a road trip if you haven’t seen the sea? It had almost been a year since I’d seen the Indian Ocean and I was suffering from withdrawal. We were so close and the detour would barely add an hour to our journey time. And so Mossel Bay was our destination as we bid farewell to the Greenhouse and turned the car in the direction of home. Sort of.

The weather was gloomy with a distinct chill in the air, but nothing would dampen my spirits. We visited Santos Beach, which was pretty much deserted except for a few kids who probably should have been in school. The sand was soft and smooth and the first wave icy – giving you that sharp intake of breath – but soon becoming warm as you get used to it. I was surprised by how small the waves were but we were in a bit of a harbour and I am used to the crashing curls of Umhlanga and Jeffreys. We enjoyed a seafood lunch at Kingfishers Restaurant and then headed back on the road towards Beaufort West.

I can’t quite remember my motivations when booking the accommodation for our return journey. Perhaps I was looking for consistency and the comfort of the familiar, or more likely I was tired and didn’t feel like researching anymore places; but I had booked for us to stay in exactly the same places as the way down. And so, it was back to Lisa in Beautiful Betty B&B and back to the Rabbit Guesthouse in Bloem. Beautiful Betty put us up in a different room just as charming as before and we had a wonderful stay. I would thoroughly recommend it for a stopover. The Rabbit put us in the same room and it was just as adequate as before. I probably wouldn’t stay there again. It’s just a bit hollow and lacking in character when you get down to it.

In future I think I would book a different route for the way back, or at least different places to stay – just to give you something else to look forward to. Although it provided some level of comfort and ease, knowing what to expect, it also made it a little boring.

And just like that we were home again. I remember turning off the highway, driving up the main road and looking all around me, expecting things to have changed, surprised that things still looked the same. I felt like I had been gone for months, not a mere two weeks. I felt fundamentally and profoundly changed. The fact that the world around me was unchanged seemed preposterous.

It’s been two weeks now and I still feel the mark this trip has left on me. I feel more at ease, more at peace with myself and my surroundings. I feel more determined to pursue a life that allows me to take more trips like this because they are so important for your soul and your relationships. And I feel healthy and energised – which is honestly not something I ever thought I would say. Who knows, maybe I’ll be writing more blog posts in the future. I certainly feel capable of it. Watch. This. Space.

Mum on Tour – Clarens

My mum works in London. I say works in London and not lives in London, because she doesn’t really live anywhere. That’s not to say she’s a nomad, but she does live a somewhat nomadic lifestyle. She is usually at her cousin’s place in South West London in a room so small the door just about sneaks closed between the bed and the book case. But then sometimes she’s visiting my Granny in her hometown where she grew up, on the beautiful coastline of Northern Ireland. Or she’s staying with her sister in law in her beautiful 16^th century country home in Surrey. Or she’s housesitting for some friends in a tower block in East London. Or she’s making sure her employer makes it safely to his chateaux in Nice. She gets around. (But not in the prostitute sense, as Hugh Grant would say).

Anyway, last month we were blessed with her presence for two whole weeks as she managed to make her way to sunny South Africa, just as Spring had sprung. Hubby and I had decided to take her on a mini-break (as that’s all our leave days would allow) and settled on Clarens in the Free State. Even though my mum lived in South Africa for over 25 years she had never been to Clarens. She was under the impression she was the only member of her peer group to never have been, but after being here only a few days she soon discovered it was one of those places that everyone has always wanted to go to, but has never quite made it to.

I know why mum never made it to Clarens before. My dad would hate it. It is a small town, with dusty roads, and nothing but little arty farty shops selling random, over-priced crafts and art works. Over the years it has only gotten trendier. They now have their own craft beer; and a restaurant that only sells cheese. There really is absolutely nothing to do. Except walk around, look around and just be somewhere different. Our ideal holiday.

For Hubby and I, it was our second trip, having visited it at the end of winter two years ago. Situated in the foothills of the Maluti Mountains, it often gets snow in winter and is very close to the Lesotho border and popular Afriski resort. We stayed at a B&B, Millpond House, which offered beautifully appointed rooms, with simple self-catering facilities. Although not needed for our weekend there, there was underfloor heating, electric blankets and a beautiful open fireplace in the lounge area. Mum’s room had lovely double doors opening out onto a patio that she made good use of in the mornings while we had a lie in.

Having learned from our previous trip that small town means limited availability in restaurants, we phoned ahead a few days before our arrival and made a booking at Clementine’s for our first night – voted Trip Advisor’s number one restaurant in the Free State. Not that I have much experience with restaurants in the Free State, but this would take a lot to beat. The food was absolutely amazing! Although looking on Trip Advisor I’d be scared to say anything less as the owner seems to have a real go at anyone who gives them less than five out of five. We also visited the German restaurant, Roter Hahn, which has a fantastic selection of cheese cakes and beautiful views across the mountains, if you can put up with the absolutely awful music.

Day 2 saw us looking around the shops and me almost having my credit card confiscated by Hubby. I could have bought everything in sight. I had to of course put up with a healthy amount of my mum chipping in “you could make that yourself, you know,” but I did buy a fair amount of raw materials to make things myself too, as did hubby. For now though, please see below for new additions to house décor.

I do love a good inspirational quote. Or several. As for the gaping hole between the two frames, Hubby is going to make a photo frame much like one I saw in one of the stores, but carried a ridiculous price tag. We’ll see what happens. Thank goodness we were hosting book club that week or they probably wouldn’t even have made it up onto the wall yet… lol.

Clarens is a special place, although I would recommend visiting it in winter. Even at the beginning of September, the nights were still cold, but not quite cold enough. When Hubby and I visited in true winter we got to experience the truly magical phenomenon of warm air pockets. At night, you would be walking along in the freezing cold and suddenly there would be a warm pocket of air. We thought we were going nuts until a local explained to us that all the warm air from everyone’s fires collects in the dips and hollows to form these pockets of warm air. It is a wonder to behold. Although we could feel them now in September, the temperature difference wasn’t enough to make them quite so special.

Anyway, the most important thing is, we got to spend two weeks with mum and she can finally say “Clarens: tick!”.

*If there’s one thing I love it’s a humerous sign and Clarens certainly did not disappoint in this department! Some intentional… others… perhaps less so…

Newlyweds on Tour – Leg 10: Gariep Dam

Our final stop on this epic adventure took us to De Stijl Hotel, high up in the mountains overlooking Gariep Dam, the water levels of which were heartbreakingly low. Being on the cusp of the Free State and the Northern Cape, this trip allowed us to tick off two more provinces on our crusade to visit all nine before the year is out.

The hotel is lovely – if somewhat out of place. You find yourself looking around for the water park that ought to be adjoined, but no, it’s just a hotel. As it was the last stop, we splashed out on the honeymoon suite, which had some very… interesting décor choices. And no bathroom door. Yes, we may be married now. Yes, we may have moulded our lives together. But YES, I would still like bathroom privacy.

The most wonderful calling card of staying in this particular part of the country can be found some 90km away, just outside the small town of Philippolis: Tiger Canyons; a tiger sanctuary operated by renowned South African conservationist and filmmaker, John Varty, who is on a personal mission to create a wild tiger population outside Asia. It is a remarkable undertaking, and even more remarkable, is that it’s working. During a three-hour game drive with Varty himself, we were lucky enough to see three of the sanctuary’s fourteen tigers, including Ti-Bo, the last remaining white tiger living in the wild.

Make no mistake, this is not a zoo with big cages. These tigers are 100% wild. They hunt, they claim territories and they fight, often resulting in death. If anyone is any doubt about their wildness just read about Varty’s too close encounter with male cub Corbett in March 2012, an attack that almost cost him his life. As well as the tiger viewing we were also given a chance to interact with two cheetahs that JV has hand-raised. I was very skeptical and anxious to get out of the truck, but was comforted by the fact that they had just eaten. What a special and rare opportunity to view these beautiful cats in their natural habitat.

This experience must be added to any wildlife lover’s bucket list. It was an experience beyond compare. And my advice would be to go as soon as possible! This place is just a few investment opportunities away from being turned into a five-star resort that would alienate locals like us. I am so grateful we got to experience it in these early stages. My second piece of advice would be – make sure you’re in a 4 x 4, that your spare tyre is in good shape and that you drive slowly. The roads were beyond shocking and we ended up with a puncture.

After the awesomeness of Tiger Canyons there was nothing much else to do except dunch about the hotel, catching up on some reading by the swimming pool and taking in the last few moments of this heavenly adventure before normal life would resume.

Distance Travelled: 479.8km

Defining Soundtrack: “Big Machine” the Goo Goo Dolls

Items Purchased: A 1GB WiFi voucher so I could watch the Seahawks game.

Next Stop: Home

Newlyweds on Tour – Leg 9: Nieu Bethesda

Today we saw a crab. After fourteen days of travel, ten of which were spent, at least in some part, in coastal regions, we saw a crab for the first time today; in the middle of the desert. I’m quite sure there’s a simple explanation for it; he was probably a fresh water crab who wandered off from the one and only stream in the near vicinity. But still, I thought it was pretty funny.

That really does sum up our latest stop – Nieu Bethesda: a town in the middle of the desert, where weird things happen. There are no street lights, no petrol station, no ATMs, no supermarket. Shops, restaurants and accommodation establishments only accept cash. You need to come prepared. We stopped off on the way in nearby Graaff-Rieneit to prepare ourselves, loading the trolley with food, drinks, and most importantly: fire wood. Because if there’s one thing Hubby and I enjoy above all else it’s a good fire. And there is no better place to sit by the fire than under the Karoo night sky.

Words are not worthy of describing the Karoo night sky; no amount of them would be adequate anyway, even if I tried. Hubby even tried taking photos of it with his fancy new camera, but it refused to be captured. It needs to be seen, by everyone everywhere, at least once in your life. Add it to your bucket list right now. I have seen night skies in the Kruger and Zimbabwe, away from the city lights and pollution that usually block our view. But I am telling you there are some stars that only shine for the Karoo.

It’s like a blanket of sparkle, as though glitter has been poured from the planets. When you look up there is more star than sky. The milkyness of the Milky Way is clearly identifiable. In contrast, Orion’s belt, usually so obvious in the night sky is much harder to identify as it’s surrounded by so many other stars, rather than shining solo as it appears to do in the city’s night sky. And it’s not just what you see, it’s what it makes you feel. It captures your soul and mind. I sat there for hours, lost in the stars and lost in my own thoughts; thoughts about the big things, the things that really matter. Remembering people I’ve lost and wondering if this is where they’ve come.

…This is why you shouldn’t try to describe the Karoo night sky. Because you end up sounding like an idiot! Hahaha!

So moving on… Hubby and I have been to Nieu Bethesda once before, to see in the beginning of 2014 with mum in tow. It was my most memorable new year celebration and one of my favourite ever holidays. The town is just so special and unique, full of little gems like an honesty store selling everything imaginable from books to trinkets to bubble bath. The Karoo Women arts and crafts empowering women in impoverished areas to support themselves and their families through their beautiful creations. And restaurants with a different menu every day decided by what’s available and what they feel like making. Apparently though, this only describes Nieu Bethesda in season.

Out of season, Nieu Bethesda is a dusty ghost town full of “Sorry – Closed” signs. And we were here on a weekend! Fair enough, we only saw about a dozen other tourists on our strolls though the town, but this opens up an interesting chicken and egg debate. Are all of the stores and restaurants closed because no one comes or does no one come because all of the stores and restaurants are closed? Although this gave us a well overdue day of down time it was disappointing not to be able to revisit the splendors of our first visit.

But as I reminded Hubby, we didn’t come for the shopping, we came for the sky.

Distance Travelled: 289.5km

Defining Soundtrack: “Stars” by Skillet – no surprise that was in my head every night.

Items Purchased: Lavender linen spray (been hunting this down for ages, of all the places to find it!?!), ball of 100% wool in a pinky-maroon sort of colour to make a scarf (needles and pattern included), a funky long sleeved shirt (pictured as it too defies description).

Next Stop: Gariep Dam, Free State

Newlyweds on Tour – Leg 8: Beaufort West

Beaufort West was only ever intended to be a stopover point. We knew we’d leave Cape Town relatively late and didn’t want to do the full journey to our main stop in the Karoo in one go. It was just as well we were taking a leisurely drive as there was some magnificent scenery to ogle. We were also able to make a sho’t left and stop in the town of Matjiesfontein where I swear they have the coldest Coca Cola Light in the world.

To us, this little town was the perfect introduction to the Karoo. A mixture of quaint, small town charm and ‘holy crap did I slip through a worm hole into 1792’. We explored the grounds of the Lord Millner Hotel, chatted to some very friendly staff and enjoyed a most refreshing beverage in the pub – the Laird’s Arms. The décor – including an old school till and framed menus dating back to 1902 – had me all giddy. It was only about a week later, when we were standing around my dad’s bar, now firmly established back in Joburg that we found out there is a whole lot more to Matjiesfontein. Apparently it is a village with a “history richly spiced with tales of murder, mayhem and magic”. The hotel was once voted the most haunted building in South Africa, although I’m still trying to find out why. No wonder the staff were so friendly…

Our accommodation in Beaufort West was situated on the outskirts of town, so much so that I found myself praying to a god I only sometimes believe in that we hadn’t been duped into paying everything up front to sleep in someone’s back room. But around the corner we came and there it was: Cape Karoo Guesthouse. What a truly beautiful spot with the most outstanding hostess of the trip thus far. She had gone to the trouble of decorating our room to be a honeymoon suite, rose petals and all and made us feel extremely welcome. She also showed us to the deck where we could view the beautiful sunset over a mountain just as flat as that Table one.

Hisilicon Balong

For dinner we went to the Four Sheeps Restaurant, where they serve lamb. You only need to choose what part of the lamb you want, how you want it prepared and what it should be served with. We both went for a relatively simple lamb burger. Absolutely delicious and a welcome introduction to Karoo lamb – with an informative explanation of how lamb is categorized as such provided.

The next morning we enjoyed a delicious breakfast in the farmhouse which is absolutely stunning. Open plan everything with tasteful and creative décor – I have borrowed a few ideas to try at home. I would strongly recommend the Cape Karoo Guesthouse to anyone needing to split up their journey on the N1, a fantastic place to stay.

Distance Travelled: 470.6km

Defining Soundtrack: James Bay

Items Purchased: I tried, but the only thing going was bottled water. I have kept the bottle.

Next Stop: Nieu Bethesda

Newlyweds on Tour – Leg 7: Cape Town

Ah Cape Town; the Mother City; the place with the big mountain.

We received a warm welcome when checking into our room at Parker Cottage B&B. Drinks offered on arrival, and then a sit down chat with the hostess to discuss what we wanted from our time in this wonderful city. I mentioned Boulders Beach for the Penguins and Cape Point – neither of which she could offer packaged tours for, and suddenly the welcome became a lot less warm. We were bundled off to our room, half-finished beverages and all. And unfortunately, this about sums up our experience of Cape Town: beautiful scenery, sucky people.

For our first night I had asked for a recommendation for a seafood restaurant – preferably one that did good platters. In all our coastal travel we had yet to really sample seafood and I wanted something that could be a real treat. One of the other staffers at Parker Cottage booked us a table at The Deck House and Crab Shack on Kloof Street. We received yet another warm welcome, this one remaining warm throughout, if a bit pushy at times. I ordered a cocktail – a real treat as I rarely drink – and then the manager brought us complimentary champagne as he knew we were on our honeymoon. It seemed rude not to drink it (as disgusting as it was) but I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and soon became quite tipsy – for literally the first time in my life. This was quite amusing for both Hubby and I.

We had prawn popcorn to start – really delicious, followed by a platter of crayfish, calamari and ribs (half price surf and turf on Wednesdays for the win!) It was a really unique dining experience, donning a bib and all, and we thoroughly enjoyed it. The waitress did put pressure on us to order more nibbles and wine, but we had already anticipated that so it wasn’t too annoying. I loved the novelty of being able to walk home at night, through city streets. Although there are certainly some streets you can walk safely at night in Joburg, they’re not areas we frequent, so this made me feel quite nostalgic for the London way of life.

Parker Cottage does a smashing breakfast so this set us up well for a busy day ahead. First we headed to Simon’s Town and Boulders Beach to see the penguins. A bit underwhelming, I had envisioned seeing dozens of them, but I know it can depend what time of day you go. We did see a few up close and some in the water, so overall a worthwhile trip.

Then began the epic adventure of Cape Point vs. Cape of Good Hope – with no one being quite sure which is which. We were after the one where the two Oceans meet (turns out that’s actually Cape Aghulas, but they try and keep it quiet). From a tourism standpoint, the signage and information available in The Cape of Good Hope National Park is appalling! You really are left to your own devices. In the end we opted for Cape Point as there is a tram that takes you most of the way up. We made it just in time as minutes after we had taken some shots of the view we were completely engulfed in a cloud.

We took the coastal route back to base which took us up Chapman’s Peak. Wow. The views and scenery are absolutely breathtaking. Although Hubby didn’t get to enjoy it as much as he had to keep his eyes on the very windy road, we could both agree that the short stretch of road beat the trip to Cape Point and was well-worth the small toll fee you pay to drive it.

Back in the city it was off to the Honest Chocolate Café to taste their famous Banana Bread Bunny Chow that I had been looking forward to since reading about it in an article on things to do in Cape Town for under R50 (It was a very short article). At R48 the hollowed out mini banana bread loaf filled with ice-cream and melted dark chocolate, is worth every penny.

After that we walked the streets (in the non-prostitute sense) traversing different sections of Bree, Long and Kloof Streets. This turned into an interesting introduction to the Capetonian driver who seems significantly more angry and aggressive than even the Gilooly’s Interchange on a Friday afternoon Joburg driver. I don’t think I’ve ever been sworn at more times, had rude hand gestures waved at me or been on the receiving end of glares of such contempt as when crossing the road when the green man is clearly telling me to in Cape Town.

Overall Cape Town was thoroughly enjoyable. Our B&B was beautiful, very centrally located and served excellent breakfasts. The scenery is magnificent, beyond compare in some places. But the people… It’s not something you can really explain, it’s more of a feeling. A feeling that you really, really are not welcome. Especially if you are from Johannesburg.

Did we enjoy it? Yes.

Will we be back? No.

Distance Travelled: 206.3km

Defining Soundtrack: “Home Sweet Home” by Forever Ends Here. I love a bit of irony.

Items Purchased: Food. Couldn’t afford anything else.

Next Stop: Beaufort West

Newlyweds on Tour – Leg 6: Franschhoek

Of all the routes, I enjoyed this one the most: Route 62.

Our hostesses at the glorious JBay had recommended a couple of stops along Route 62 and we took them up on their suggestions. The first one was Ronnie’s Sex Shop, situated about 20km outside Barrydale. The story goes that Ronnie bought a dilapidated building on Route 62 intending to turn it into a farm stall. As a joke his friends painted “Ronnie’s Sex Shop” on the side of it while “helping” him to restore the building. As most of the restoration effort involved them drinking and keeping him company, they eventually convinced him to turn it into a pub. And so today it operates as a watering hole still bearing the original paint job of “Ronnie’s Sex Shop”.

I’m not sure what we were expecting, but something with a bit of character at least. What we got was a place that looked like it used to be fun once upon a time. The staff looked loathe to be there and their signs advertising “ice cold drinks” were a flat out lie. Still, it made a good photo op and if it had looked half decent we may have stopped there longer and missed out on the gem that came next. See, everything works out for the best.

Diesel and Crème: what a spot! Located just as you’re leaving Barrydale, it’s easy to miss – we drove straight past even though we were looking for it. They have taken what used to be a petrol station and turned it into a real American style diner, still keeping all the original fixtures like the pumps and signage. The restaurant itself is also an ode to all things retro and vintage from the antique furniture to the random décor like old measuring equipment, and children’s toys that brought back epic memories. And the thing is, it’s all done in a very unique and authentic way – it doesn’t feel trendy or like it’s trying to be something, it just is. And the food… I ordered the lady in red milkshake which was basically a slice of red velvet cake liquidized with a scoop of ice-cream. Amazing does not begin to cover it; it was a true taste sensation. The chicken burger was the best of its kind. Not only would I recommend Diesel and Crème, I would recommend going out of your way to pay them a visit. You won’t regret it!

Anyway, what was this blog post about? Oh yes, Franschhoek. So, we arrived in Franschhoek. We were staying in a charming little cottage called Little Willow Brooke, with its own swimming pool that made my feet go numb – the rest of me didn’t make it in. After our stupendous lunch we didn’t need to visit one of the town’s famous establishments and instead made ham rolls for dinner. The next morning we had some time to explore the charming streets before heading to Cape Town. It reminded me quite a lot of Clarens with lots of little shops selling delightful odds and ends – the things I just go nuts for. If it’s got a funny quote on it or would look good on my kitchen counter, I want it. So I spent entirely too much money but left happy.

On the way out of town we stopped at the Franschhoek Motor Museum, which I soon discovered was Hubby’s version of the Theatre of Dreams. With cars being his number one passion (after me of course 😉 ) this really was the place to be. It is terrifically set out as far as museums go, located on a beautiful wine estate with various models from the early 1900s until today displayed in 4 different large barns. There were cars in there that are one of only seven ever produced. So even if you’re not bothered about cars (like me) seeing a piece of history like that is always mesmerizing.

The scenery in Franschhoek is nothing short of breathtaking. Wine estate after wine estate, rolling hills and river crossings. The route certainly offered some peace and tranquility before heading into the city.

Distance Travelled: 400.4km

Defining Soundtrack: Crown the Empire

Items Purchased: En route: Ronnie’s Sex Shop apron. In Franchhoek: teapot, mug, a bag, some gifts.

Next Stop: Cape Town, Western Cape

Newlyweds on Tour – Leg 5: Oudtshoorn

We travelled through some truly beautiful scenery on this route, specifically in crossing over a few towering bridges that I really wish we could have stopped at on the Tsitsikamma Toll Route. Storms River in particular looked spectacular. I know the name and have some sketchy memories of people discussing it around me in the past. On a return trip I would definitely make a plan to spend some more time in this region.

To partner the impressive scenery we had some very underwhelming towns. I went on an epic holiday to the Knysna area with my mum in 2008 and together we discovered the grand anti-climax that is Plettenburg Bay. We only passed through it briefly today but I didn’t see anything that caused us to pull the car over. Sadly Knysna was much the same. We had a delicious lunch at 34 Degrees on the Waterfront and some wonderful gelato from a nearby stall, but the place was overwhelmingly swarming with foreign tourists; and the facilities seemed to pander to their needs at the expense of us lowly locals. However, we were just passing through and I concede that it may be a different experience entirely if we had the time to stop and properly take in the sights.

We did take a detour to Buffels Bay which I remember from my 2008 trip as being a breathtakingly undisturbed stretch of beach with beautiful rock formations. Fortunately it has remained untouched and it was good to take some last deep breaths of calming sea air before heading inland.

In a 100km stretch we went from beautiful beaches and breathtaking drops into tropical gorges, to mingling with the clouds in intense mountain passes, and finally to sparse, ostrich populated dirt with the occasional shrub here and there. At least five different countries’ calling cards covering one patch of our beautiful country.

At last we arrived at our bed for the night, Earthbound B&B, Oudtshoorn, with the most overly enthusiastic hostess I have ever encountered. Everything was described to us in excessive detail, including what was and wasn’t included in the breakfast. The accommodation was lovely though with a beautiful outdoor patio. So with no cooking facilities but not wanting to waste our patio, we opted for take-aways.

We woke up early and ate our inclusive breakfast and then attempted to visit the Cango Caves, but with the earliest time slot available being 12pm we had to move on. The place was packed with tour buses full of foreign visitors – excellent for tourism, not so good for us. However, it worked out for the best as it allowed us to make our way to stop 6 at a leisurely pace, taking in some real treats – but I will save that for the next post.

Distance Travelled: 396.3km

Defining Soundtrack: Hozier – who was switched off for being too depressing.

Items Purchased: A keyring adorned with purple ostrich feathers.

Next Stop: Franschhoek, Western Cape

Newlyweds on Tour – Leg 4: African Perfection, Jeffreys Bay

Our accommodation in Jeffrey’s Bay, at the end of the Pepper Street cul-de-sac at the heart of the area known as Supertubes, is called African Perfection – a name that could not have been more fitting. If Umhlanga was amazeballs, African Perfection is super duper amazeballs. We were lucky enough to be staying in the penthouse suite, which no doubt added to the magic, but was definitely not solely responsible for it. The whole establishment is immaculate with superb attention to detail; lots of small touches that may seem insignificant but added together really do go the extra mile to making you feel like a valued guest.

Accommodation sorted, now to discuss location. In what I would generously describe as vast experience in staying in beachside hotels, I have never stayed anywhere quite this close to the beach. Our balcony was in fact practically overhanging the boardwalk. From the day bed (yes, they had a day bed) I could see nothing but ocean. The crashing waves were a solid soundtrack. It was truly magnificent.

Hisilicon Balong

Hisilicon Balong

The main reason we stayed in Jeffrey’s Bay was that I insisted on it. On previous trips to visit the in-laws in nearby PE we had always made a turn to JBay – to scour the clothing factory outlets for bargains. Once we made it onto the beach too. The water was so blue, so calm, so crystal clear, I knew I needed to be around this little gem of the ocean for more than just an afternoon. So when the idea of a honeymoon road trip came about, it’s fair to say I planned the east coast route around JBay.

And it did not disappointment.

The Sunday morning scouring session of the shops was fruitful and I got good deals on things I probably don’t need but they’re pretty and I’m on honeymoon so bleh! Plus, I promised to buy something at every stop we make, no matter how small, and I think two t-shirts, a hoodie, three pairs of shorts and one pair of tracksuit bottoms adequately ticks that box, don’t you? Lunchtime brought a new scouring challenge, as surprisingly, Jeffreys doesn’t have as many restaurants as you might think. We settled on McTasty’s Diner. It was colourful and fresh and the waitress was enthusiastic where others had been lackluster.

We got superb milkshakes (mine had actual real life candy floss on it) and burgers with delightfully misshapen patties that you know can only be home made. Our waitress was a complete ditz; she delivered our milkshakes to the wrong table – a couple who already had milkshakes sitting in front of them, we had to ask twice for our Coke Lights in A Can. With anyone else it may have been frustrating, but there was something genuine and endearing about it that everyone could just laugh at (good naturedly of course). Overall it was a wonderful afternoon out. We discovered that the restaurant has had a complete brand overhaul as recently as two weeks ago, I really hope it’s one of the ones that makes it!

We then spent some time on the main beach where the sand is soft and the waves are gentle and predictable, before heading back to base for the United vs Chelsea match. The less said about that the better. I’m just glad we went for a walk at half time, got preoccupied collecting shells and ended up returning with only two minutes left of the match!

Hisilicon Balong

Distance Travelled: 394.1km

Defining Soundtrack: A playlist of all my favourite “noughties” music from the 2000s, compiled in Chintsa, featuring Nine Days, LFO, Jimmy Eat World, New Radicals and Matchbox Twenty, among others.

Items Purchased: A few clothing items as mentioned above. Just a few…

Next Stop: Oudtshoorn

Newlyweds on Tour – Leg 3: Chintsa

Things we have discovered thus far: 1. The N2 sucks. It has speed bumps, robots, roundabouts and it goes through every small town imaginable with their speed bumps, robots and roundabouts. 2. Every town in South Africa, no matter how small or how oddly named, has a Standard Bank branch, a Spar and at least two KFCs. 3. While we do own lovely backpacks we are definitely NOT backpackers. 4. Chintsa is breathtakingly beautiful and I hope no one ever finds out about it!

Thursday was a rather treacherous day of travel. We got an early start but the trucks and weather were not working in our favour and we soon fell behind schedule. Hubby was also not feeling too well (a Wimpy milkshake didn’t help so you know it must have been serious). But even still, while stuck in our third “stop-and-go” of the day, while Transing the Kei, we both agreed that it still beat a day at work! Parts of the route were also absolutely amazing – at several points we were driving up mountain passes mingling with the clouds. And I can’t tell you how cool it is to know that now when people talk about places like Port Shepstone, Qumba and Mthatha, I can actually say I’ve been there, even if I was only passing through.

It was dark by the time we arrived at Buccaneers, which left me completely disorientated but excited to wake up the next morning and discover the view. (We arrived late on our first trip to Clarens last year and were very pleasantly surprised to find out in the morning that our B&B was completely surrounded by towering mountains and fragrant rose gardens). We were shown to a well-appointed room named Walter (after Sisulu I suspect, as our neighbours were Albertina). Opening the sliding doors to let in some cool night air, we were welcomed by the sound of crashing waves in the distance. I had high hopes for the morning’s view.

I don’t think anything could have prepared me for just how spectacular the view would be though. Buccaneers sits high on the hills between the ocean and the lagoon and our veranda gave us an incredible view of the lot. The previous day’s persistent rain had brought out the flying ants and the sun caught their wings as they fluttered about trying to survive longer than two minutes and do whatever it is flying ants are born to do (any takers, I really do actually want to know). The high vantage point means it is inevitably quite a trek to the beach, but it is well worth it. The untouched beauty of this wild coast beach makes Wilderness look like Durban in December. The sand is soft, the water is clear, the waves are predictable (and not violent as Hubby has tagged KZN’s seas). We walked a good distance before the wind picked up and covered my sunscreen slick skin head to toe in sand. Still, totally worth it!

For lunch we chose The Barefoot Café, mostly because it sounded cool. And cool it was; with its quirky decor it was every bit as laid back as you’d expect a spot in this region to be. We had delicious burgers, I even indulged in a refreshing cocktail that involved cherry something, and we ordered take-away pizzas to serve as dinner – a very enjoyable afternoon out. Back at HQ it was time for an afternoon nap – that rare luxury that truly makes you feel like you’re on holiday!

I would highly recommend Buccaneers – it caters to all ends of the budget spectrum, is well-maintained and easy to navigate. We stayed in an en-suite sea-view cabin, but the dorms seem to be extremely popular with foreign tourists, which bodes well. The people are friendly but not intrusive, there is a fridge to keep your Coke Light in a Can cold… what more could you want really?

Chintsa is somewhere I would very much love to come back to, if only it wasn’t so completely in the middle of nowhere. But then again, I guess that’s the whole reason it’s so special.

Distance Travelled: 565.3km

Defining Soundtrack: Semi-Charmed Life – Third Eye Blind; there’s nothing like a good sing along!

Next stop: JBay