Hubby and I started ballroom dancing last February in preparation for our wedding and enjoyed it so much we just kept going, except for the three weeks I was in the psychiatric clinic. Returning after… More
Today we saw a crab. After fourteen days of travel, ten of which were spent, at least in some part, in coastal regions, we saw a crab for the first time today; in the middle of the desert. I’m quite sure there’s a simple explanation for it; he was probably a fresh water crab who wandered off from the one and only stream in the near vicinity. But still, I thought it was pretty funny.
That really does sum up our latest stop – Nieu Bethesda: a town in the middle of the desert, where weird things happen. There are no street lights, no petrol station, no ATMs, no supermarket. Shops, restaurants and accommodation establishments only accept cash. You need to come prepared. We stopped off on the way in nearby Graaff-Rieneit to prepare ourselves, loading the trolley with food, drinks, and most importantly: fire wood. Because if there’s one thing Hubby and I enjoy above all else it’s a good fire. And there is no better place to sit by the fire than under the Karoo night sky.
Words are not worthy of describing the Karoo night sky; no amount of them would be adequate anyway, even if I tried. Hubby even tried taking photos of it with his fancy new camera, but it refused to be captured. It needs to be seen, by everyone everywhere, at least once in your life. Add it to your bucket list right now. I have seen night skies in the Kruger and Zimbabwe, away from the city lights and pollution that usually block our view. But I am telling you there are some stars that only shine for the Karoo.
It’s like a blanket of sparkle, as though glitter has been poured from the planets. When you look up there is more star than sky. The milkyness of the Milky Way is clearly identifiable. In contrast, Orion’s belt, usually so obvious in the night sky is much harder to identify as it’s surrounded by so many other stars, rather than shining solo as it appears to do in the city’s night sky. And it’s not just what you see, it’s what it makes you feel. It captures your soul and mind. I sat there for hours, lost in the stars and lost in my own thoughts; thoughts about the big things, the things that really matter. Remembering people I’ve lost and wondering if this is where they’ve come.
…This is why you shouldn’t try to describe the Karoo night sky. Because you end up sounding like an idiot! Hahaha!
So moving on… Hubby and I have been to Nieu Bethesda once before, to see in the beginning of 2014 with mum in tow. It was my most memorable new year celebration and one of my favourite ever holidays. The town is just so special and unique, full of little gems like an honesty store selling everything imaginable from books to trinkets to bubble bath. The Karoo Women arts and crafts empowering women in impoverished areas to support themselves and their families through their beautiful creations. And restaurants with a different menu every day decided by what’s available and what they feel like making. Apparently though, this only describes Nieu Bethesda in season.
Out of season, Nieu Bethesda is a dusty ghost town full of “Sorry – Closed” signs. And we were here on a weekend! Fair enough, we only saw about a dozen other tourists on our strolls though the town, but this opens up an interesting chicken and egg debate. Are all of the stores and restaurants closed because no one comes or does no one come because all of the stores and restaurants are closed? Although this gave us a well overdue day of down time it was disappointing not to be able to revisit the splendors of our first visit.
But as I reminded Hubby, we didn’t come for the shopping, we came for the sky.
Distance Travelled: 289.5km
Defining Soundtrack: “Stars” by Skillet – no surprise that was in my head every night.
Items Purchased: Lavender linen spray (been hunting this down for ages, of all the places to find it!?!), ball of 100% wool in a pinky-maroon sort of colour to make a scarf (needles and pattern included), a funky long sleeved shirt (pictured as it too defies description).
Next Stop: Gariep Dam, Free State
Throughout my childhood and well into my adult life my family had two Christmases. One on the 16th of December (a public holiday in South Africa, celebrating reconciliation) and one on the 25th. The 16th was for friends – the type of friends who are more like family – and was probably my most favourite day of the year. Nothing but laughter and joy, delicious food and hysterical games. It was an honour to be invited and some years people ended up having to bring their own chairs to sit on, we were that packed to capacity. However many people were coming, my mum always managed to find the perfect turkey – one that was both big enough to feed everyone, yet would still fit in our oven. She roasted potatoes and various other vegetables, she made stuffing and gravy from scratch and she baked mince pies and proper Christmas pudding that you could set alight and everything. All of this in our very small kitchen in the thirty-degree summer heat of Johannesburg in December.
And then on the 25th she did it all again for just the four of us.
I like to think I have always appreciated my mum and recognised her brilliance – particularly in the kitchen. But this festive season my admiration has reached new heights. For this festive season Hubby and I hosted for the first time ever and I have never worked so hard in all my life – even though Hubby did most of it! If it’s edible we had it there to be eaten. If it has walked, swum or flown over this earth of ours, it was on the table ready to be eaten. We had smoked salmon and Parma ham entrees. We had bacon encrusted turkey and a citrus glazed gammon, with help from Hubby’s brother we had beef fillet and roast lamb, we had potatoes, parsnips, roast veg, salad, gravy, two types of stuffing and we had trifle.
But let’s bring the focus to my contribution… most importantly, we had a tidy house. Anyone who knows us and has ever visited us will understand that this was quite a feat in itself. We had a very festive looking dining room table. And we had pie-caken – the most wondrous invention of someone on Facebook of baking a pie inside a cake. I decided to do mini cherry pies baked inside chocolate cake. Most importantly, it worked. Secondly, it tasted pretty damn good. And as my final contribution, we had clean dishes come Boxing Day evening.
It was a wonderful Christmas. Happy memories were made and new traditions were set down. But it was exhausting. How mum did it twice in ten days for over twenty years I will never know. But I am so, so glad she did, and I know others are too. I would happily host again in 2017, because the juice is worth the squeeze in this case. But if mum happens to be free and feels like doing a spot of cooking I’m not going to deny her. That would be rude.
Beaufort West was only ever intended to be a stopover point. We knew we’d leave Cape Town relatively late and didn’t want to do the full journey to our main stop in the Karoo in one go. It was just as well we were taking a leisurely drive as there was some magnificent scenery to ogle. We were also able to make a sho’t left and stop in the town of Matjiesfontein where I swear they have the coldest Coca Cola Light in the world.
To us, this little town was the perfect introduction to the Karoo. A mixture of quaint, small town charm and ‘holy crap did I slip through a worm hole into 1792’. We explored the grounds of the Lord Millner Hotel, chatted to some very friendly staff and enjoyed a most refreshing beverage in the pub – the Laird’s Arms. The décor – including an old school till and framed menus dating back to 1902 – had me all giddy. It was only about a week later, when we were standing around my dad’s bar, now firmly established back in Joburg that we found out there is a whole lot more to Matjiesfontein. Apparently it is a village with a “history richly spiced with tales of murder, mayhem and magic”. The hotel was once voted the most haunted building in South Africa, although I’m still trying to find out why. No wonder the staff were so friendly…
Our accommodation in Beaufort West was situated on the outskirts of town, so much so that I found myself praying to a god I only sometimes believe in that we hadn’t been duped into paying everything up front to sleep in someone’s back room. But around the corner we came and there it was: Cape Karoo Guesthouse. What a truly beautiful spot with the most outstanding hostess of the trip thus far. She had gone to the trouble of decorating our room to be a honeymoon suite, rose petals and all and made us feel extremely welcome. She also showed us to the deck where we could view the beautiful sunset over a mountain just as flat as that Table one.
For dinner we went to the Four Sheeps Restaurant, where they serve lamb. You only need to choose what part of the lamb you want, how you want it prepared and what it should be served with. We both went for a relatively simple lamb burger. Absolutely delicious and a welcome introduction to Karoo lamb – with an informative explanation of how lamb is categorized as such provided.
The next morning we enjoyed a delicious breakfast in the farmhouse which is absolutely stunning. Open plan everything with tasteful and creative décor – I have borrowed a few ideas to try at home. I would strongly recommend the Cape Karoo Guesthouse to anyone needing to split up their journey on the N1, a fantastic place to stay.
Distance Travelled: 470.6km
Defining Soundtrack: James Bay
Items Purchased: I tried, but the only thing going was bottled water. I have kept the bottle.
Next Stop: Nieu Bethesda
Ah Cape Town; the Mother City; the place with the big mountain.
We received a warm welcome when checking into our room at Parker Cottage B&B. Drinks offered on arrival, and then a sit down chat with the hostess to discuss what we wanted from our time in this wonderful city. I mentioned Boulders Beach for the Penguins and Cape Point – neither of which she could offer packaged tours for, and suddenly the welcome became a lot less warm. We were bundled off to our room, half-finished beverages and all. And unfortunately, this about sums up our experience of Cape Town: beautiful scenery, sucky people.
For our first night I had asked for a recommendation for a seafood restaurant – preferably one that did good platters. In all our coastal travel we had yet to really sample seafood and I wanted something that could be a real treat. One of the other staffers at Parker Cottage booked us a table at The Deck House and Crab Shack on Kloof Street. We received yet another warm welcome, this one remaining warm throughout, if a bit pushy at times. I ordered a cocktail – a real treat as I rarely drink – and then the manager brought us complimentary champagne as he knew we were on our honeymoon. It seemed rude not to drink it (as disgusting as it was) but I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and soon became quite tipsy – for literally the first time in my life. This was quite amusing for both Hubby and I.
We had prawn popcorn to start – really delicious, followed by a platter of crayfish, calamari and ribs (half price surf and turf on Wednesdays for the win!) It was a really unique dining experience, donning a bib and all, and we thoroughly enjoyed it. The waitress did put pressure on us to order more nibbles and wine, but we had already anticipated that so it wasn’t too annoying. I loved the novelty of being able to walk home at night, through city streets. Although there are certainly some streets you can walk safely at night in Joburg, they’re not areas we frequent, so this made me feel quite nostalgic for the London way of life.
Parker Cottage does a smashing breakfast so this set us up well for a busy day ahead. First we headed to Simon’s Town and Boulders Beach to see the penguins. A bit underwhelming, I had envisioned seeing dozens of them, but I know it can depend what time of day you go. We did see a few up close and some in the water, so overall a worthwhile trip.
Then began the epic adventure of Cape Point vs. Cape of Good Hope – with no one being quite sure which is which. We were after the one where the two Oceans meet (turns out that’s actually Cape Aghulas, but they try and keep it quiet). From a tourism standpoint, the signage and information available in The Cape of Good Hope National Park is appalling! You really are left to your own devices. In the end we opted for Cape Point as there is a tram that takes you most of the way up. We made it just in time as minutes after we had taken some shots of the view we were completely engulfed in a cloud.
We took the coastal route back to base which took us up Chapman’s Peak. Wow. The views and scenery are absolutely breathtaking. Although Hubby didn’t get to enjoy it as much as he had to keep his eyes on the very windy road, we could both agree that the short stretch of road beat the trip to Cape Point and was well-worth the small toll fee you pay to drive it.
Back in the city it was off to the Honest Chocolate Café to taste their famous Banana Bread Bunny Chow that I had been looking forward to since reading about it in an article on things to do in Cape Town for under R50 (It was a very short article). At R48 the hollowed out mini banana bread loaf filled with ice-cream and melted dark chocolate, is worth every penny.
After that we walked the streets (in the non-prostitute sense) traversing different sections of Bree, Long and Kloof Streets. This turned into an interesting introduction to the Capetonian driver who seems significantly more angry and aggressive than even the Gilooly’s Interchange on a Friday afternoon Joburg driver. I don’t think I’ve ever been sworn at more times, had rude hand gestures waved at me or been on the receiving end of glares of such contempt as when crossing the road when the green man is clearly telling me to in Cape Town.
Overall Cape Town was thoroughly enjoyable. Our B&B was beautiful, very centrally located and served excellent breakfasts. The scenery is magnificent, beyond compare in some places. But the people… It’s not something you can really explain, it’s more of a feeling. A feeling that you really, really are not welcome. Especially if you are from Johannesburg.
Did we enjoy it? Yes.
Will we be back? No.
Distance Travelled: 206.3km
Defining Soundtrack: “Home Sweet Home” by Forever Ends Here. I love a bit of irony.
Items Purchased: Food. Couldn’t afford anything else.
Next Stop: Beaufort West
Of all the routes, I enjoyed this one the most: Route 62.
Our hostesses at the glorious JBay had recommended a couple of stops along Route 62 and we took them up on their suggestions. The first one was Ronnie’s Sex Shop, situated about 20km outside Barrydale. The story goes that Ronnie bought a dilapidated building on Route 62 intending to turn it into a farm stall. As a joke his friends painted “Ronnie’s Sex Shop” on the side of it while “helping” him to restore the building. As most of the restoration effort involved them drinking and keeping him company, they eventually convinced him to turn it into a pub. And so today it operates as a watering hole still bearing the original paint job of “Ronnie’s Sex Shop”.
I’m not sure what we were expecting, but something with a bit of character at least. What we got was a place that looked like it used to be fun once upon a time. The staff looked loathe to be there and their signs advertising “ice cold drinks” were a flat out lie. Still, it made a good photo op and if it had looked half decent we may have stopped there longer and missed out on the gem that came next. See, everything works out for the best.
Diesel and Crème: what a spot! Located just as you’re leaving Barrydale, it’s easy to miss – we drove straight past even though we were looking for it. They have taken what used to be a petrol station and turned it into a real American style diner, still keeping all the original fixtures like the pumps and signage. The restaurant itself is also an ode to all things retro and vintage from the antique furniture to the random décor like old measuring equipment, and children’s toys that brought back epic memories. And the thing is, it’s all done in a very unique and authentic way – it doesn’t feel trendy or like it’s trying to be something, it just is. And the food… I ordered the lady in red milkshake which was basically a slice of red velvet cake liquidized with a scoop of ice-cream. Amazing does not begin to cover it; it was a true taste sensation. The chicken burger was the best of its kind. Not only would I recommend Diesel and Crème, I would recommend going out of your way to pay them a visit. You won’t regret it!
Anyway, what was this blog post about? Oh yes, Franschhoek. So, we arrived in Franschhoek. We were staying in a charming little cottage called Little Willow Brooke, with its own swimming pool that made my feet go numb – the rest of me didn’t make it in. After our stupendous lunch we didn’t need to visit one of the town’s famous establishments and instead made ham rolls for dinner. The next morning we had some time to explore the charming streets before heading to Cape Town. It reminded me quite a lot of Clarens with lots of little shops selling delightful odds and ends – the things I just go nuts for. If it’s got a funny quote on it or would look good on my kitchen counter, I want it. So I spent entirely too much money but left happy.
On the way out of town we stopped at the Franschhoek Motor Museum, which I soon discovered was Hubby’s version of the Theatre of Dreams. With cars being his number one passion (after me of course 😉 ) this really was the place to be. It is terrifically set out as far as museums go, located on a beautiful wine estate with various models from the early 1900s until today displayed in 4 different large barns. There were cars in there that are one of only seven ever produced. So even if you’re not bothered about cars (like me) seeing a piece of history like that is always mesmerizing.
The scenery in Franschhoek is nothing short of breathtaking. Wine estate after wine estate, rolling hills and river crossings. The route certainly offered some peace and tranquility before heading into the city.
Distance Travelled: 400.4km
Defining Soundtrack: Crown the Empire
Items Purchased: En route: Ronnie’s Sex Shop apron. In Franchhoek: teapot, mug, a bag, some gifts.
Next Stop: Cape Town, Western Cape
We travelled through some truly beautiful scenery on this route, specifically in crossing over a few towering bridges that I really wish we could have stopped at on the Tsitsikamma Toll Route. Storms River in particular looked spectacular. I know the name and have some sketchy memories of people discussing it around me in the past. On a return trip I would definitely make a plan to spend some more time in this region.
To partner the impressive scenery we had some very underwhelming towns. I went on an epic holiday to the Knysna area with my mum in 2008 and together we discovered the grand anti-climax that is Plettenburg Bay. We only passed through it briefly today but I didn’t see anything that caused us to pull the car over. Sadly Knysna was much the same. We had a delicious lunch at 34 Degrees on the Waterfront and some wonderful gelato from a nearby stall, but the place was overwhelmingly swarming with foreign tourists; and the facilities seemed to pander to their needs at the expense of us lowly locals. However, we were just passing through and I concede that it may be a different experience entirely if we had the time to stop and properly take in the sights.
We did take a detour to Buffels Bay which I remember from my 2008 trip as being a breathtakingly undisturbed stretch of beach with beautiful rock formations. Fortunately it has remained untouched and it was good to take some last deep breaths of calming sea air before heading inland.
In a 100km stretch we went from beautiful beaches and breathtaking drops into tropical gorges, to mingling with the clouds in intense mountain passes, and finally to sparse, ostrich populated dirt with the occasional shrub here and there. At least five different countries’ calling cards covering one patch of our beautiful country.
At last we arrived at our bed for the night, Earthbound B&B, Oudtshoorn, with the most overly enthusiastic hostess I have ever encountered. Everything was described to us in excessive detail, including what was and wasn’t included in the breakfast. The accommodation was lovely though with a beautiful outdoor patio. So with no cooking facilities but not wanting to waste our patio, we opted for take-aways.
We woke up early and ate our inclusive breakfast and then attempted to visit the Cango Caves, but with the earliest time slot available being 12pm we had to move on. The place was packed with tour buses full of foreign visitors – excellent for tourism, not so good for us. However, it worked out for the best as it allowed us to make our way to stop 6 at a leisurely pace, taking in some real treats – but I will save that for the next post.
Distance Travelled: 396.3km
Defining Soundtrack: Hozier – who was switched off for being too depressing.
Items Purchased: A keyring adorned with purple ostrich feathers.
Next Stop: Franschhoek, Western Cape
Our accommodation in Jeffrey’s Bay, at the end of the Pepper Street cul-de-sac at the heart of the area known as Supertubes, is called African Perfection – a name that could not have been more fitting. If Umhlanga was amazeballs, African Perfection is super duper amazeballs. We were lucky enough to be staying in the penthouse suite, which no doubt added to the magic, but was definitely not solely responsible for it. The whole establishment is immaculate with superb attention to detail; lots of small touches that may seem insignificant but added together really do go the extra mile to making you feel like a valued guest.
Accommodation sorted, now to discuss location. In what I would generously describe as vast experience in staying in beachside hotels, I have never stayed anywhere quite this close to the beach. Our balcony was in fact practically overhanging the boardwalk. From the day bed (yes, they had a day bed) I could see nothing but ocean. The crashing waves were a solid soundtrack. It was truly magnificent.
The main reason we stayed in Jeffrey’s Bay was that I insisted on it. On previous trips to visit the in-laws in nearby PE we had always made a turn to JBay – to scour the clothing factory outlets for bargains. Once we made it onto the beach too. The water was so blue, so calm, so crystal clear, I knew I needed to be around this little gem of the ocean for more than just an afternoon. So when the idea of a honeymoon road trip came about, it’s fair to say I planned the east coast route around JBay.
And it did not disappointment.
The Sunday morning scouring session of the shops was fruitful and I got good deals on things I probably don’t need but they’re pretty and I’m on honeymoon so bleh! Plus, I promised to buy something at every stop we make, no matter how small, and I think two t-shirts, a hoodie, three pairs of shorts and one pair of tracksuit bottoms adequately ticks that box, don’t you? Lunchtime brought a new scouring challenge, as surprisingly, Jeffreys doesn’t have as many restaurants as you might think. We settled on McTasty’s Diner. It was colourful and fresh and the waitress was enthusiastic where others had been lackluster.
We got superb milkshakes (mine had actual real life candy floss on it) and burgers with delightfully misshapen patties that you know can only be home made. Our waitress was a complete ditz; she delivered our milkshakes to the wrong table – a couple who already had milkshakes sitting in front of them, we had to ask twice for our Coke Lights in A Can. With anyone else it may have been frustrating, but there was something genuine and endearing about it that everyone could just laugh at (good naturedly of course). Overall it was a wonderful afternoon out. We discovered that the restaurant has had a complete brand overhaul as recently as two weeks ago, I really hope it’s one of the ones that makes it!
We then spent some time on the main beach where the sand is soft and the waves are gentle and predictable, before heading back to base for the United vs Chelsea match. The less said about that the better. I’m just glad we went for a walk at half time, got preoccupied collecting shells and ended up returning with only two minutes left of the match!
Distance Travelled: 394.1km
Defining Soundtrack: A playlist of all my favourite “noughties” music from the 2000s, compiled in Chintsa, featuring Nine Days, LFO, Jimmy Eat World, New Radicals and Matchbox Twenty, among others.
Items Purchased: A few clothing items as mentioned above. Just a few…
Next Stop: Oudtshoorn
Things we have discovered thus far: 1. The N2 sucks. It has speed bumps, robots, roundabouts and it goes through every small town imaginable with their speed bumps, robots and roundabouts. 2. Every town in South Africa, no matter how small or how oddly named, has a Standard Bank branch, a Spar and at least two KFCs. 3. While we do own lovely backpacks we are definitely NOT backpackers. 4. Chintsa is breathtakingly beautiful and I hope no one ever finds out about it!
Thursday was a rather treacherous day of travel. We got an early start but the trucks and weather were not working in our favour and we soon fell behind schedule. Hubby was also not feeling too well (a Wimpy milkshake didn’t help so you know it must have been serious). But even still, while stuck in our third “stop-and-go” of the day, while Transing the Kei, we both agreed that it still beat a day at work! Parts of the route were also absolutely amazing – at several points we were driving up mountain passes mingling with the clouds. And I can’t tell you how cool it is to know that now when people talk about places like Port Shepstone, Qumba and Mthatha, I can actually say I’ve been there, even if I was only passing through.
It was dark by the time we arrived at Buccaneers, which left me completely disorientated but excited to wake up the next morning and discover the view. (We arrived late on our first trip to Clarens last year and were very pleasantly surprised to find out in the morning that our B&B was completely surrounded by towering mountains and fragrant rose gardens). We were shown to a well-appointed room named Walter (after Sisulu I suspect, as our neighbours were Albertina). Opening the sliding doors to let in some cool night air, we were welcomed by the sound of crashing waves in the distance. I had high hopes for the morning’s view.
I don’t think anything could have prepared me for just how spectacular the view would be though. Buccaneers sits high on the hills between the ocean and the lagoon and our veranda gave us an incredible view of the lot. The previous day’s persistent rain had brought out the flying ants and the sun caught their wings as they fluttered about trying to survive longer than two minutes and do whatever it is flying ants are born to do (any takers, I really do actually want to know). The high vantage point means it is inevitably quite a trek to the beach, but it is well worth it. The untouched beauty of this wild coast beach makes Wilderness look like Durban in December. The sand is soft, the water is clear, the waves are predictable (and not violent as Hubby has tagged KZN’s seas). We walked a good distance before the wind picked up and covered my sunscreen slick skin head to toe in sand. Still, totally worth it!
For lunch we chose The Barefoot Café, mostly because it sounded cool. And cool it was; with its quirky decor it was every bit as laid back as you’d expect a spot in this region to be. We had delicious burgers, I even indulged in a refreshing cocktail that involved cherry something, and we ordered take-away pizzas to serve as dinner – a very enjoyable afternoon out. Back at HQ it was time for an afternoon nap – that rare luxury that truly makes you feel like you’re on holiday!
I would highly recommend Buccaneers – it caters to all ends of the budget spectrum, is well-maintained and easy to navigate. We stayed in an en-suite sea-view cabin, but the dorms seem to be extremely popular with foreign tourists, which bodes well. The people are friendly but not intrusive, there is a fridge to keep your Coke Light in a Can cold… what more could you want really?
Chintsa is somewhere I would very much love to come back to, if only it wasn’t so completely in the middle of nowhere. But then again, I guess that’s the whole reason it’s so special.
Distance Travelled: 565.3km
Defining Soundtrack: Semi-Charmed Life – Third Eye Blind; there’s nothing like a good sing along!
Next stop: JBay
Eight months ago, during the planning stages of this trip, sleeping in a glass tree house in a tropical forest on the edge of the sea seemed like a magical adventure. Now that I’m sitting in said tree house, I’m struggling to remember what the initial appeal had been. Also, the bathroom is downstairs. And it’s raining. This is the price we must pay for our indulgence on a five star start to the honeymoon. The Mantis and Moon definitely has character, but I would rank clean bed sheets and separation from the elements above character every day of the week!
I guess backpackers resorts are notoriously social experiences and Hubby and I are notoriously selectively sociable – another flaw in my planning. They want you to drink in the bar and make friends all night, not sit in your glass tree house typing blog posts. At least it’s only one night. The room doesn’t even have a door.
We arrived shortly after 1pm. I fell asleep en route again. This needs to stop or Hubby will have divorce papers drawn up before the ink on the marriage certificate is dry. I feel strongly about this. A road trip is a team effort. He may be doing all the driving and while I don’t expect us to talk non-stop, I do think it’s only fair I stay awake while he’s awake. Any thoughts on this? Seriously, I would welcome any logic that will make me feel less guilty.
After being shown around by one of the cast members of a surfer movie we decided to head straight for Oribi Gorge. Although, when you’re using Sat Nav, these things are never straight forward. After turning into a sugar plantation that was definitely a sugar plantation and definitely not Oribi Gorge we made some adjustments and finally ended up where we had intended to be. And boy am I glad we made the effort. Talk about breathtaking scenery. It’s like being on the edge of the world looking down into a great, green abyss. The entire lack of safety rails of any description was both amusing and unnerving. One look-out point had a bare tree branch lying across the ground like a “do not cross this point” indicator. Other viewing points simply had a sign reading “Beware of the edge”.
We got some amazing photos, Hubby got to test out the four-wheel-drive capabilities of Swifty and we visited Shelley Beach to find a Woolworths. Back at base camp we discovered that some beds are more uncomfortable than sleeping on the floor but that being in beautiful surroundings with crashing waves as your background music can more than make up for it.
Distance Travelled: 266.7km
Defining Soundtrack: To Close to Touch – who I thought were a Japanese band but are actually American. As Granny would say, there you are now.
Next Stop: Chintsa, Eastern Cape
One word: amazeballs. Two words: holy shit. Eleven words: I wish we could afford to stay here all the time. Starting our honeymoon in an environment of such opulence as The Oyster Box Hotel, Umhlanga was a splendid idea, if I say so myself. Everything is just so pretty. And clean. And it smells nice. Everyone says hello. Everything is complementary (as in, inclusive). There is a turn down service with different treats on different nights, and nothing is ever too much trouble. (Believe me, I overheard other guests complaining about things that should definitely have been too much trouble).
After a smooth journey – although I think I may have failed at the first hurdle of marriage as I fell asleep and left Hubby to drive on his own for a good hour and a half – we sailed into reception, were shown to our room (#13, next to the Presidential Suite) and had just enough time to change into something girly (me, not Hubby) to head back down for afternoon tea. Oh the extravagance! Every kind of sweet and savoury delight you could imagine, on offer buffet style. We slowly ate ourselves into a sugar coma.
The weather was a bit bleak but rain or no rain, we were walking on the beach dammit! However, in the end there was no rain and no walking on the beach as we sauntered into town instead. Bought some necessities – like Steers cheesy chips – and headed back to the hotel room for the United vs Liverpool match. A wonderful idea; I fell asleep 15 minutes in.
The Oyster Box breakfast buffet – worthy of a blog post all of its own – is something to behold. Imagine it and they have it. For breakfast. Champagne and oysters seemed a popular choice (when at the Oyster Box and all…) but we went a good old fashioned three rounds of continental to start, then full English, finished off with waffles and pastries. As one does – when they are on holiday and breakfast is included.
Then it was off to the spa. Holy crap. All other spa experiences pale in significance. The rooms were shinier, the robes were softer, the slippers actually fit and they gave me a choice of body butters. The masseuse knew exactly where to really work my muscles and where to go easy, without me even needing to tell her. The hour flew by. I would have spent all day there if I could afford it, but I can’t and so we headed back to the room to do some chilling. By this time the sun was out and so I optimistically went outside to read. I swiftly came back in for a hoodie. Then I came back in to escape the wind. Still, beats a day at the office.
By now it was time for lunch (also inclusive in our package) and suddenly the assault on the breakfast buffet didn’t seem like such a good idea after all. But the burgers were superb and would not be denied. We waddled down to the promenade afterwards with ambitions of working off some of what we’d eaten. The wind had picked up and was blowing us about all over the place. We managed a ten kilometre walk but didn’t make it onto the beach as the tide was out and the waves were rough. Day two and still no sand in my toes – my parents would be so disappointed.
To end off our Oyster Box experience we meandered down to their 24-seater cinema to watch Deadpool, with complimentary (inclusive) popcorn and sweeties. I fell asleep about an hour in, but fortunately we had seen it before so I didn’t lose too many points.
As an aside though, I need to do something about this falling asleep thing. I can only blame sea air for the first half of the trip!
Another night’s sleep in a million thread count sheets on a bed bigger than the floor space of our entire bedroom at home, followed by another buffet breakfast, and I left Umhlanga with only one thought: I never want to see food again. Of any kind. Ever.
Distance Travelled: 579.5km
Defining Soundtrack: Music from Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby
Next Stop: Umzumbe, KZN