If there’s one thing my mother has taught me it’s that single does not mean lonely and that being in a relationship does not mean happy. In this age of social media, people can often pity you for being single, but what they need to realise is that being single is more than just a status. Sometimes “I’m single” really means, “I refuse to settle for less”, or “I’m working on me right now”. We look at couples on social media and forget that we’re seeing a highlights reel, and are not privy to the behind the scenes footage. This often makes us feel undue pressure to get into a relationship we’re not ready for. Don’t let friends, family or societal pressure rush you into a relationship. And especially don’t let feelings of loneliness rush you into a relationship. The worst thing in life is not being alone; it’s being with someone who makes you feel alone.
Every romantic movie and song on the radio says you need somebody to complete you, but only self-love will complete you. Everyone wants to find “the one” but what if YOU are the one. Don’t wait for somebody to come along and make you happy – this is a guaranteed way to end up sad. If you’re unhappy, a relationship isn’t going to change this – in fact, it will amplify it. You have to make you happy.
When you’re single is the best time to become the sort of person that you want to attract: someone to grow with, someone you can be yourself around, someone you can have fun doing nothing with, someone who can be your best friend. Because it’s not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy relationships. But first, you have to be a friend to yourself.
However, this does not mean that while you are on your journey you are unworthy of love. Someone can still love you while you are learning to love yourself and in fact help you on your path. Don’t think that just because you are not skipping and jumping, the hills are alive with the sound of music happy that you are undeserving of love. Just as long as you feel whole and are not relying on that other person for validation, you are ready to love and be loved.
So the next time someone tries to console you and your singleness, shoulders back, head high, and wear it with honour and pride.